There was a lot of laughter between Sarah and I yesterday. Bowen did great all day long and we’re starting to regain confidence after his arrest. There were several times that he was wide-awake and looking us in the eyes. It was so great to see him this way. The doctors think it’s safe to close his chest at this point, so Dr. DiBardino will be performing the procedure this afternoon. Please pray that all goes well.

The Following is From My Journal

9.17.10

This morning is the last time I’ll get to peer through the window to Bowen’s beating heart. I can’t believe, that in such a short amount of time, it’s become normal for me to look down at my son with his little chest wide open. A friend told me that I’ve seen too much, but I’m realizing that I might not see enough. Everything I’ve watched happen in this hospital, all the pain I’ve felt, is deepening my faith, strengthening my marriage, and molding my character.  As I lovingly stared into Bowen’s eyes just before midnight, my face only inches from his chest, I thought, “this love is an awesome mess.” I know I’m not the first person to think or to say something like that. Many great works of art have titles that are reminiscent of those words. I believe it’s because tension is the place where the worst of life and the best of true hope meet to unveil our eyes to God’s artistic work of redemption. What a mighty and creatively loving God we serve. He allows us to know great pain, so that we can know the greater pleasure of trading it in for purpose.