This past week has been a much needed dose of encouragement for Sarah and I. We’re astounded at the amount of progress Bowen has made since we removed his NG tube. He hardly throws up or gags in comparison to before, he’s almost always happy, and he smiles and coos at us all day long. We’re all getting better sleep because of his progress, and there has been far less tension throughout each day. The past week has felt simple and sweet in so many ways, something we haven’t experienced in a very long time. We thank God for this.
We spoke with a few of our nurses as well as our pediatrician about continuing to keep Bowen’s tube out. They all agree that it’s a good idea as long as he keeps his bottle-fed formula and medicine down, maintains good blood sugar levels, and continues to gain weight. Please pray that these specific things will continue to happen.
This has been a year of awakening. Walking through this struggle with my family has sparked a growing desire to live out a deeper faith and purpose. The past few months have been the most spiritually rich season of my short life, and I pray that it continues to get better. I also know that the emotions that come with new experiences fade, but when I come down off this mountain to enter another valley, I’ll be walking with greater trust and a stronger, more rooted faith.
I heard a message by Timothy Keller this morning, that made me think about a different kind of awakening, that every one of us is bound to face. The title of the message was Does God Control Everything?. I don’t believe it was a coincidence that it was based on Romans 8, the very chapter that I had recently been studying so intently. He drew his main point from the final verses of that chapter, highlighting the good news; that nothing bad could happen to us, around us, or in us that could keep us from the love of God in Christ.
I’ve learned some powerful lessons about God’s love in the midst of the bad things that happen to us and around us, but Keller made a statement in his message about the bad things that could happen in us that really caught my attention. He said, “I want you to know that there is stuff in your heart that you don’t know about yet, and that when it pops up you’re going to say, ‘I can’t believe I’m capable of that.’”
Those words really hit me. When things are going well, we rarely consider that a snare may lie in the road ahead of us. There is a real enemy, the devil, who is actively seeking to destroy the good work of God in our lives. Also, spiritual growth in Christ is contrary to almost every desire of our sinful, selfish, human nature. I pray that God will give us the strength to continue to humbly grow in faith, but I also hope that in the moments we fail, we’ll at least be faithful in embracing the truth of God’s infinite love and grace.
“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”