Back at the Hospital

Sarah and I are overwhelmed by the amount of prayers and encouragement that have been written for Bowen in response to our last post. We want to thank everyone who wrote a prayer or a note of encouragement for him over the past week. I can’t imagine how much they will mean to him in the future. If you haven’t had a chance to write something for him, please feel free to contribute by leaving a comment under the post titled Wishes.

For weeks I’ve been anticipating a powerful wave of emotions to hit me, something like fear or sadness, but I woke up this morning feeling, once again, as though it were any other day. Sarah and I spent some time with the girls while Bowen bounced around in his Johnny Jump Up. We packed up a few last items for our trip, prayed around Bowen as a family, gave Emmy and Claire ten kisses goodbye (one for every day until we’ll see them again, and then some). As we left the house to drive Bowen to the hospital, Sarah and I discussed how strange it was that we didn’t feel much emotion.

Forty minutes later, I saw the sign. At mile thirty-seven on highway 23, as I put my foot on the brake to exit toward Ann Arbor, it hit me. It felt as if I had driven through an emotional barrier and entered into an entirely new state of heart and mind. I looked up in the rearview mirror and saw tears begin to well up in Sarah’s eyes as well. “I just want to keep him, I just want to keep him,” she repeated as the tears began to roll down her cheeks. I reached back to comfort her as best as I could while driving.

You have kept count of my tossings, put my tears in your bottle, are they not in your book?”

Psalm 56:8

Those are books and bottles that I could never hope to lift.

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

2 Corinthians 12:9

We both felt lighter by the time we reached the hospital. It’s amazing how much weight can escape with a few feather-light tears. Tears are gifts that usher in grace, and I’m sure we’ll experience more of both over the next few days.

Bowen’s surgery will be at roughly 8:00am EST Wednesday morning. Please say a prayer for him at that time.