The other day the girls were dancing to Sanctus Real’s song The Redeemer while Bowen was bouncing in his jump up. I was thinking back to the days when this song was new to me. It’s always been one my favorite songs on the band’s latest album. I know Lead Me was written for the girls and I, and holds a special place in my heart, but The Redeemer has always touched me very deeply as well. Matt and the band wrote it in the fall of 2009, and I remember hearing it for the first time. I remember getting choked up during the bridge when Matt sings, “I don’t have every answer in life, but I’m trusting you one day at a time, ’cause you can make a weak heart stay alive forever.” From that point forward, when I heard those lyrics I would often get emotional. I remember asking God, “Why is this making me cry?” Those of you who know me, know I am not a terribly emotional person. I cry some, but not much, so this was unique. You can imagine the emotions that flooded my heart six months later, after learning of my little man’s weak heart, and thinking of how the lyrics spoke straight to me. I realized then how God had been preparing me for what we were about to go through. The Redeemer is now my hearts cry. “I don’t have every answer in life, but I’m trusting you one day at a time. Jesus, please keep Bowen’s weak heart alive forever.” God is so good to give me this. The Redeemer isn’t the only song that was preparing us for this journey. There was also Keep My Heart Alive and others from the album Pieces of a Real Heart. The music was just one of so many ways that God was showing us that He was and is in control. You can listen to The Redeemer below.
If you’re wondering how Bowen is this week, he’s doing great! I often marvel at him, thinking back to the night we thought we had lost him. Praise God that He’s brought us so far! Over the past two weeks, Bowen has started growing his first two teeth…they’re adorable. I’ll post a picture when they’re big enough to see. My emotions took me off guard when I saw one of his little teeth poking through for the first time, and I actually began to get a little weepy. Things have been so abnormal with Bowen that getting a tooth just seemed so perfectly normal. He’s also gaining some weight. At 14 lbs he’s pretty small for his age, but not too small. He’s trying to eat more solids, but I’m still not sure how he feels about them. We’ll just keep taking one little step at a time.